Thursday, May 18, 2006

Eeeewwwwwwwww! Double Eeeewwwwwwww!

This is just foul. I would say I'm 85% "don't-judge-until-you've-walked-in-their-shoes left-side angel" and 15% "fly-off-the-handle-without-the-facts-raving-bitch/devil-on-the-right-shoulder." In general, I like to think that I make my mother proud by erring on the "thinking well of people" side. HOWEVER. These two just gross me out. I got majorly skeeved when they first started proclaiming their love last year, despite their inconvenient spouses. I remembered the article from a year previously, where her $1M wedding to her first (and then current) husband was featured, primarily because I thought she (a) looked surprisingly demure (!?!) and (b) resembled her husband and (c) was insane for having her pug as a bridesmaid and (d) was insane for allowing her father to spend that kind of money on a wedding, even if he is wealthy beyond belief. But I digress... Apparently, Studly McTattoo-My-Skanky-Girl-On-Me and his then-wife had a son and had just adopted a daughter when he fell so hard (on a three-week film shoot) for his irresistable temptress. (In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I find Tori Spelling physically repulsive.) All his tattoos of her on various body parts, as profiled so prominently with coverage in US Weekly of the actual tattooing, have just added to the yuck factor. "Whatchoo up to tonight?" "Gonna snag us a photographer for a national gossip rag and go get a tattoo to prove our love, man!" But this spread, as seen in People this week...I'm speechless. Did they have any time to actually celebrate "just the two of us" between artfully lit photo shoots? They invited "no one"...it was "just for us"...well, just for us and US Weekly, really. Oops - sorry, my bad - it was "People: that ran this MULTI-PAGE photo spread documenting their every move that evening. So it was them and the photographer and the entire staff of the resort in Fiji and the pictures of his dead parents and her dead NANNY??? That they BURNED for good luck??? Sigh. This is soooooo gonna last, right? And just when I was prepared to fell all sad for the dumped wife, I found this lovely article. Did I say double eeeewwwwwww? I meant triple eeeeewwwwww!!!

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