Thursday, August 03, 2006

Sweaty Canadians

This week has been hellish. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, since I doubt hell has central air and Coronas and digital cable, but you understand where I'm going here, right? What's that quote? "It's not so much the heat, it's the humidity that'll kill you." (A quick side trip to the IMDb revealed that the quote was from "Cool Runnings." I was thinking it was something from "Caddyshack" maybe, since approximately a quarter of the verbal interaction between me and Dr. V on any given day consists of quotes from "Caddyshack." Imagine my surprise when I started browsing through the quotes from "Cool Runnings," and realized that another portion of our conversation actually is comprised of quotes from "Cool Runnings." Not a weekend goes by without one of us asking the other, "Sanka, you dead?" and the other replying, "Ya, man.") Back to business. Since the weather has been so hot, I've had more occasion than usual to experience the excessive sweatiness that overtakes me at times. Ever since my youth, I sometimes get an abnormal flushing/sweating reaction in my face and scalp. Exercise, coffee, alcohol, anxiety, temperature fluctuations - these can all set it off. Because I wear bangs across my forehead, they are often wet and plastered all over the place - it's even lovelier in person than I make it sound, trust me. Last week, we joined a friend and her kids at a local park so the kids could burn off some energy. This is one of the parks that is not fenced in, so I spent most of the time shadowing Peanut on the very large play structure and watching to make sure he didn't make a break for the park behind the playground. The other moms sat at a picnic table and were able to chat comfortably while I darted around keeping an eye on the Amazing Escape-O. But it wasn't a large amount of exertion by any means, and the temperature was 75 - 80, not overly hot. At the end of our time there, I had to pick Peanut up to carry him up a flight of stairs to the parking area, since he was...uhm, "reluctant" to leave. So, obviously, I was embarrassed, and I was hauling a squirming 35 lb. boy up a flight of stairs. By the time I reached the car, I had developed one of my heavy sweating episodes, the kind where it rolls out of my hair and down my face. My friend had followed with her kids, and as we chatted and packed up and I wiped off my dripping face, her eyes got bigger and bigger. She is a nurse, and she said, "Hyperhidrosis, maybe?" I was all, "What? Huh? What are you talking about?" This is the first time I ever even thought of it as anything other than a genetic curse from my father's side of the family, just like all the damn freckles. Turns out that lots of people have this condition! Not just my freaky family! And there are treatments! Not necessarily pleasant treatments, but still! This was the first website I came across. Who knew that 2.8% of Canadians had hyperhidrosis? That's almost 1 million people! And guess who was Canadian? And guess who was probably sweaty? JOHN CANDY, that's who! The same guy who starred in "Cool Runnings" and said, "It's not so much the heat, it's the humidity that'll kill you." HA! And here I bet you were wondering how I would tie that post title in here, huh? The universe is circular, man. (I actually don't know what that means, but I can't think of another way to end this post.)

3 comments:

  1. thanks for the laugh. I needed that tonight. I sweat a lot from my head too and I try to wear hats a lot cuz my hair ain't too pretty all sweaty. My hubby told me the other day I look gross b/c my hat is all sweaty and I'm not hiding it. Nice, huh?

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  2. You're a MA person right? I certainly agree with the hellishness of this week, though I've been without central air, just an army of fans and frequent showers.

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  3. All right - we really ARE the same person. Sanka, ya dead? Ya mon, has been uttered in vain around here for years! Nobody ever knows what the hell I'm talking about. AND I've got the sweat & freckle factor working against me as well.

    Come on now. This is just weird.

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