Sunday, May 04, 2008
On My Own
(Cross-posted at New England Mamas)
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The stars and planets aligned just right this weekend, leaving me alone in the house from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon. Let me repeat myself: glorious solitude is miiiiiiiiinnnneee!
I don't know about other people, but I love being alone. I've always needed time away from others, as far back as I can remember from childhood. I'm the oldest, and my sisters and I are each about 20 months apart, so by the time I turned 4, there were 3 of us already. Some of my earliest memories involve time spent in secret hiding spaces, like sitting a closet or laying under a bed. It sounds odd, but the memories feel safe and comforting.
As I've gotten older and become the mother of a child with sensory issues, I've come to recognize some of those same feelings in myself. Too much noise makes me jittery, strong smells make me gag, and I rely heavily on visual cues - bulletin boards, chalkboards, post-it notes on every surface - to keep me on track. I also have an inordinate fondness for cashmere sweaters, flat shoes, and elastic waistbands. These clothing preferences could be "sensory," but c'mon, I'm a chunky middle aged woman! Let's call them "common sensory" choices, shall we?
As a parent of young children, you have to be in "Alert" mode all the time. It is incredibly relaxing to be able to turn off that switch every now and then. I don't think enough parent, moms especially, take the time to recharge by being alone.
I usually feel compelled to work on a project of some sort when I get a chunk of time alone like this. This weekend, I am painting one of the small walls in my kitchen with black chalkboard paint. I'm blasting the "inappropriate for children" music, I'm eating non-meals of cheese and crackers and fruit, and I'm watching gory investigative crime dramas full of fake autopsies on television. It's wonderful, and I highly recommend it.
If you are feeling frazzled and discombobulated, I have some advice. This week, when your family asks what you'd like for Mother's Day? Don't answer and say the usual flowers and brunch will be great. Instead, just tell them to leave you alone.
___________________________________
The stars and planets aligned just right this weekend, leaving me alone in the house from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon. Let me repeat myself: glorious solitude is miiiiiiiiinnnneee!
I don't know about other people, but I love being alone. I've always needed time away from others, as far back as I can remember from childhood. I'm the oldest, and my sisters and I are each about 20 months apart, so by the time I turned 4, there were 3 of us already. Some of my earliest memories involve time spent in secret hiding spaces, like sitting a closet or laying under a bed. It sounds odd, but the memories feel safe and comforting.
As I've gotten older and become the mother of a child with sensory issues, I've come to recognize some of those same feelings in myself. Too much noise makes me jittery, strong smells make me gag, and I rely heavily on visual cues - bulletin boards, chalkboards, post-it notes on every surface - to keep me on track. I also have an inordinate fondness for cashmere sweaters, flat shoes, and elastic waistbands. These clothing preferences could be "sensory," but c'mon, I'm a chunky middle aged woman! Let's call them "common sensory" choices, shall we?
As a parent of young children, you have to be in "Alert" mode all the time. It is incredibly relaxing to be able to turn off that switch every now and then. I don't think enough parent, moms especially, take the time to recharge by being alone.
I usually feel compelled to work on a project of some sort when I get a chunk of time alone like this. This weekend, I am painting one of the small walls in my kitchen with black chalkboard paint. I'm blasting the "inappropriate for children" music, I'm eating non-meals of cheese and crackers and fruit, and I'm watching gory investigative crime dramas full of fake autopsies on television. It's wonderful, and I highly recommend it.
If you are feeling frazzled and discombobulated, I have some advice. This week, when your family asks what you'd like for Mother's Day? Don't answer and say the usual flowers and brunch will be great. Instead, just tell them to leave you alone.
Labels: bad mommy thoughts, happy happy joy joy, modern housewifery, moments of clarity, quiet time
4 Comments:
About
Velma is, alas, a pseudonym. I live with my family on Cape Cod, where I attempt to successfully blend in with the normal folk. You'd never guess the darkness that lurks in my heart.
(Insert evil cackle and rubbing of hands together.) For more about me, click HERE to read all my personal details and dirty fantasies.
I make lots of random stuff, but my Etsy shop is currently empty because I haven't taken pictures of any of the stuff I've been making yet.
You can also find me here:
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Where do you live? Let's be "alone" together sometime because your kind of alone is my kind of alone.
I too am beginning to realize my sensory "issues". I went on a field trip with my son this week. Came back with a splitting headache from all of the kid chatter. I love to rub cashmere in the store but have yet to break down and pay that much for a sweater. Background noise like TV and computer hum...hate it.
But the noise of the ocean and cries of the sea gulls..love it. I love that I can go to the grocery store and hear them in the parking lot.
I'm not doing Mother's Day this year. I don't want anything, I don't want to do anything. I just want to be nothing for one day.